At least try and pretend that you are interested.

I had a "moment" at a recent networking event which really told me a lot about the person I was talking with and whether I would be recommending his/her services to my clients and contacts; and guess what, it wasn't anything they said, it was what they did.

I was engaged in conversation with this person and his/her (ok, it was a him) his eyes were everywhere. All over the room, and certainly not looking at me. Now I know I can go on a bit, but manners doesn't cost anything (as my mum used to say) and politeness would have had him paying attention to me.

However, I ignored this rudeness and carried on by asking him a question about his business, only to be given a one word answer.

At this point I was about ready to make my excuses but he then asked me a question which I was only too happy to answer and began my response. However 10 seconds into this, he looked right over my shoulder towards someone who had just walked into the room. Without waiting for me to finish my answer to "his" question, he simply stepped passed me and went to greet the newcomer.

Now it might have been that he was eagerly waiting for the arrival of this person, but whether or not he was, that is no way to network. that is no way to conduct oneself, and it is no way to be.

I'm not angry. It saddens me that these "serial" networkers turn up at event after event and still don't get it.

I'd love to sit in a room with these people and suggest an alternative way which would bring them much better results and they would enjoy themselves more.

Their choice I guess?

Take Your Own Advice

And that is exactly what I've been doing. Aplogies for the lengthy pause in communication, but as soon as I had written my last blog (all about "talking") I realised that I needed to take my own advice.

I have spent the last two months or so ringing up my clients and contacts and really talking to them. Over the phone, in the office and over a coffee. Sometimes about business, sometimes about anything but business, but always with a sincere interest and want to understand.

These convesations have gained me so much. A deeper understanding of my clients needs and wants. A real sense of belonging. And above all another step closer to that community feel that I want for my company and its clients.

So, whilst it's all very well writing these blogs and reading them; don't forget to act!

We Hardly Talk Anymore

It's been a while friends and neighbours, but you have never been far from my thoughts, so please don't feel like you've been left out in the cold. There is always a warm place for you right here in my heart......ok, enough of the mush, let's get down to business.

My last blog on how you can't fake sincerity seemed to hit home to some anonymous people. They didn't like it at all. I wonder why?

Anyway, I wanted to talk today about something that is very close to my heart, and that is "personal contact." We discuss a lot, in this techno age, of how to keep in contact with clients and associates over the email, the blog, the twitter etc...and I am a huge advocate of all these 21st century advances in communication, but there is one mode of contact that cannot be surpassed.

Talking

It sounds ridiculous, but sometimes we get so caught up in emails and texts that when we turn round and actually ask ourselves when was the last time I spoke to this person, the answer is embarrasing.

So, pick up the phone and start calling your clients. Reconnect with them. Arrange to meet them for a coffee and a chat. You will be astounded at their willingness to reconnect with you.

Most important of all, when you chat to your clients and contacts, do the one thing that many professional people don't do...listen.

Only Nine Spaces left

Yes indeed folks, the next seminar on May 22nd 2009 only has "nine" places left.

If you wish to attend then you need to visit the website http://www.referralandnetworkingskills.com/ and on the homepage you will see an invitation.

The normal price for the entire day is £250, but if you book by Friday 3rd April, this price is slashed to only £150. If that is not enough of an incentive, you can attend for an even lower price of £100 if you organise a group of four or more to come with you.

In these challenging times where business needs to be sought rather than expected, this seminar will:

Gain you more clients

Provide you with fantastic reults

Help you maintain your existing clients

Develop your referral attitude

Generate more and more business

So if you want to be one of the lucky nine and follow in the footsteps of the greatest number nine that has ever graced this earth (That's Gareth to those that don't know)

Visit www.referralandnetworkingskills.com and book yourselves on now.

You Can't Fake Sincerity

Sooner or later, you will be outed. This happened at a networking meeting I attended this morning, and it is a very serious issue that I want to raise.

In order to even begin the referral process, you have to have deep within you a set of values that you adhere to. Some of these values will include such things as integrity and sincerity. They are values so deep rooted within you as a person that they almost beam out of you, and shine upon those that you meet either in one to one appointments, or over a group of people at larger events.

To try and be something that you are not simply does not work. Most people can see through it a mile off and all that it does is circulate the statement that you are perhaps "not the person for the job."

That doesn't mean however that there are some people in life who are very good at "acting sincere." I met such a person today.

Initially he used all the right words and soundbites that were appealing to me. He mentioned how above all things, realtionships matter. He told a story of how he had tried to be something he was not in a previous job, but today it was the real thing.

Impressive.

If you are going to act out the mannerisms of a genuinely sincere individual, you have to perform it 24 hours a day, and you can neve let your guard down. I then had an individual conversation with this person and it became very clear to me very quickly that all this person was interested in was...money. Now being interested in money is fine. Money makes the world go round, but I'm afraid to say that this individual showed his true colours.

He was interested in money by any means. Relationships had nothing to do with it. It was all about signing on the dotted line. It was as if two completely seperate identities had been sharing the same body.

What a shame. A shame for him, not for me. A shame for all the recommendations and referrals I could have passed onto this individual, yet now I will make a point of ensuring that none of my clients or contacts go anywhere near this individual.

Sincerity is a precious jewel. Rare and beautiful. So much so that if you radiate it out, it will be noticed by all those you come into contact with.

And more referrals will come your way.

The Truth About Networking

Any referral system worth its salt, has to include some formalised networking. That is to say, we need to put ourselves out there amongst our prospective clients and contacts. It's no good to sit in our cosy offices waiting for the phone to ring. In this day and age, networking has never been so important.

And yet, many many hours of valuable time can be waisted by networking the wrong way. It sounds ridiculous, but have you ever been trained in the art of networking? Well if we all agree that networking itself is a vital part of a referral system, why the hell not? Is it that easy?

I suggest not.

Networking to the untrained eye could be nothing more than regular meetings, interrupted by fatty breakfasts or cold buffets. Handshakes and nodding heads. Bullshit and cufflinks. A constant stream of business cards that all end up in the great big shredder in the sky.

The truth about networking however is very different. There is a method in true networking. There is an objective, a plan, an action and a follow up. All of which can lead to multiple referrals for your business.

For those that are willing to learn, and to acknowledge that there is room for improvement, that is what my seminars are all about. Giving the competitive edge to those that want to develop in those areas that many take for granted. So, let all those others eat their fry ups and curly sandwiches. Let them hand out card upon card.

We know the secret...

Keep In Touch

If you want to maintain a free flowing stream of quality referrals then you must "keep in touch."

I have met so many people within my career and without question, the ones that pass on referrals to me are those that I keep in touch with. Keeping in touch with someone is a positive action. It is not an accidental thing. Or at least it shouldn't be.

Ask yourself these questions:

1. Do you maintain an automated database of clients and contacts?

2. Do you filter these contacts into sections (clients, contacts, prospects, colleagues etc..)?

3. Do you have future tasks set for each of these contacts?

This third question is extremely important. if you have not set a future action, how do you intend to keep in touch. Do you feel it is sufficient to wake up one morning and simply decide to randomly communicate? (Actually, a bit of randomness is fine, as long as it is within the structure of a system)

So, remember to keep in touch for huge rewards. Maybe not immediately, but definitely in the future.

Ahoy there maty!!!

Well, splice my gizzard and hoist the main sail. Climb aboard my friends. Climb aboard the relation-ship. A mighty vessle that has been sailing these business oceans for many a year. Other ships have tried to out run her. Other ships have tried to blow her out of the waters. But the relation-ship is strong and true and when the tempests crash and the recession like winds blow, there is no other ship that I would rather be in. The relation-ship is tougher than any credit crunching storms and those of us that believe in her power and steadfastness will see calmer waters and sunnier skies.

Friday 13th

So I woke up this morning full of good intentions. I was going to set to work, review my contacts, send a small thank you to a client of mine, but then I remembered the date.

I'm not superstitious by nature, and yet for some sneaky reason, Friday 13th always sets me on edge. So instead of putting my work hat on, I took off with my wife Karen and my little boy Joel to Stratford for the day.

Coffee and cake in the morning (those that know me will appreciate the significance of c and c) a lovely lunch at one of my favourite restaurants and then back home to pick up my older son Bryn (5 years) from school.

Now what does this have to do with referral and networking skills I hear you cry? My answer? Absolutely nothing. And that's the point. Sometimes it is worth appreciating "the moment." Take a day off. Spend it with your loved ones.

Do you know where the Friday 13th legend comes from? There's all sorts of stories, but here is the one I favour. The Knights Templar were a monastic order whose mission it was to protect christian pilgrims during the crusades. These Knights became very wealthy and extremely powerful over the next couple of hundred years, so much so that the pope, feeling very threatened, had them all executed "en masse" on Friday October 13th 1307. Now that was unlucky!!!

Go on, chill!

The Follow Up

Following on from yesterdays blog on the power of "networking", I wanted to share an experience I have had today.

Many people go to networking meetings and by handing out lots of business cards, and by talking to lots of people, they go home happy believing themselves to have had a successful meeting.

I want to stress the importance of "the follow up."

It's one thing to have a conversation within the confines of a networking meeting, but it is entirely different when you take the time to follow up on your potential relationship.

I met with a wonderful lady in Northampton today, after spending a few moments with her at a business club last week. We had a drink together, we laughed, we spoke about our mutual interests and passions. We spoke seriously about our respective roles, and we joked about some of the experiences we have had over the years. We bonded.

We finished an hour later promising to keep in touch and putting a date in the diary for our next catch up. We also promised each other that we would look into referring business to one another.

The follow up is vital to your personal referral programme and cannot be missed out. If you don't place importance on this, you are wasting valuable time at the networking events you attend. It is in the follow up meeting that you begin to see your relationships blossom.

Treat these follow up meetings with the importance they deserve.

Matthew. Chapter 18. Verse 20.

For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

I in no way wish to appear blasphemous, but this corker of a comment by J.C is exactly how I was feeling at 8.00am when I addressed a networking group in Leamington.

Networking can be an intrinsic part of your personal referral programme, and if you ever get the opportunity to present to two or three or more, then grab it with both hands. You may be a little nervous. You may not have had the best nights sleep. However, if your networking group is any good they will help you along with your address.

It's a great way to connect with lots of people, and to get your message across. J.C was the original networker and his message is still going strong.

It's all about relationships.

Love and peace brothers and sisters

"Pass It On" Seminar coming to Rugby

Accept it. Expect it. Seek it.

These are my three rules when it comes to the one constant in life and in business. The one constant being, change. For all of us that have been employed, self employed, a partner in a company, a start up business etc...in whatever chosen field of expertise we work within, the need to change is what unites us all.

Change can be frightening for many. Moving out of ones comfort zone is always a little nerve wracking, but as the competition around you becomes more and more fierce, I find that the easiest way to deal with the need to change is:

Accept it. Just surrender to it. Throw your arms up in the air and shout "Bring it on!" Change just means doing things differently. Maybe, all it is, is a slight change of attitude; a subtle shift in how you approach an issue or deal with a situation. It could be a complete paradigm shift (thats what all the so called experts call it) in your behaviour. A change in the way you look at things. But one things for sure; once you accept that change is necessary and you let yourself be open to those new ideas, thoughts etc...life is so much easier.

Another great way of looking at the whole notion of change is to expect it. Expect it at any time. Just when you thought you had got a handle on the latest changes, don't be surprised if circumstances throw a curve ball at you, dictating that another change in direction is needed. One of the greatest assets of any thriving business is its ability to be flexible. So start thinking bendy thoughts and get flexing.

Finally on this topic of change is one of the most important rules. You have accepted that change is necessary. You have even identified that you need to expect change within your life. Business and life is not a straight line, so we need to take different paths sometimes. And I would go so far as to say seek out change. The old saying "If it ain't broke, why fix it?" is archaic. Why not seek out better ways, more effective ways, cheaper ways, quicker ways, more exciting ways, thoughtful ways, serving ways, reflective ways, more valuable ways?

Accept, Expect and Seek

In the words of David Bowie from that seminal album "Hunky Dory"....Ch, ch, ch, ch, changes!!!!

Lift Off!!!!

I couldn't be more excited. Referral and Networking skills has been launched upon an unsuspecting public. Our aim is simple; to provide business owners, sales teams, sole traders and start up businesses with the tools to enable them to lift off. Lift off. Up and up and away above the heads and shoulders of their competitors.

Nothing is more important in business than the correct form of communication, and we are here to provide strategies and systems that will allow you to generate more referred business than you can shake a stick at. We are here to help you raise the profile of your business through networking excellence.

The seminars will be landing at a town near you. The next one is May 22nd in Rugby and any business owner worth his salt will want to be there. Seriously, I can't wait. In the words of The Beach Boys, "Fun, Fun,Fun..."

Just thought I'd drop a picture in here so you know who you are talking to.

Speak soon

Lloyd